Sunday, March 28, 2010

Today's Dear Abby made my day

One of of my favorite sections in the newspaper is the "Dear Abby" column. While the questions written in are usually not all that relevant to me personally, it's interesting to see what the "official" etiquette is for whatever social trouble is going on and to see what kind of "comebacks" she has for some rude situations. Today's column, however, included something I would have liked to send in myself because I have been unsure of how to handle it. A reader wrote:

"I am a 29-year-old female who would like to know why people feel compelled to tell random strangers to 'smile.'"


She then goes on to describe several situations where random men have asked her to smile in a variety of comments, and how their remarks were offensive to her.

Dear Abby's response:
"The man who asked if you had "lost" something may have been making a clumsy attempt to pick you up. That sometimes happens in markets. As to the "older people" who comment on your expression -- or lack thereof -- they may consider themselves so "senior" that they can "coax" you into doing as they would like -- like "coochy-kooing" a baby to make it laugh on cue.

Making personal remarks to strangers is, of course, rude. My advice to you is to distance yourself from those individuals as quickly as possible. Speaking personally, if I was approached the way you have been, the last thing I'd be inclined to do is smile or engage them at all. I'd be offended, too."

I am so glad to know this is a more widespread problem than just affecting me and a couple of my friends who have had the same thing happen. It really does feel insulting, and I usually want to say something nasty in response, like "I'm not smiling because I'm looking at your ugly face", but clearly Dear Abby would not approve of that.

So thank you, Dear Abby, for confirming that I should just continue to ignore these annoying individuals.

2 comments:

Danalisa said...

Hey Kristina...why don't you smile more! LOL!! JK!

Jodi said...

Kristina, your comment about what you really want to say to these people made me laugh! I too think it's offensive. People need to mind their own business.